The Carcass That Rot In Despair & The Spiderlily That Bloom In Madness
by Hairyuu Murasakimikado
Summary: When Nijimura came back to Japan after 14 years, what he find are broken, lifeless, mindless Haizaki and cunning, ruthless, possessive Akashi. Main Pairing is NijiHai and one-sided NijiAka. Warning: Prostitution AU, character torture, rape, possible character death, perhaps some characters are OOC.
1. Prologue

Geh, finally I wrote this.I wonder if any of you starts to get sick of my lame comedy, so I tried an angst, prostitution AU. This idea have been struck in my head after many times listening to Musunde Hiraite: Rasetsu to Mukuro , Dark Woods Circus, and watching the gameplay of Alice: Madness Returns as well reading the trivia page. Oh, and please note that imagine this happens in Gintama-like AU-it's like in Meiji era, but the technology developed already minus the aliens.

Once again, the warning is:

1: Male X Male.

2: Prostitution Au. Where some characters became prostitutes-or even worse, sex slave.

3: Contains LOTS of RAPE scene.

4: Potential character death.

5: Contains torture scene (comparable to extreme tortures in medieval Europe. Yes, we're talking about tortures THAT cruel).

6: Extremely inhumane characterization.

If you're against even just one of these, feel free to click back... But please don't report this! XD

* * *

_Welcome, to Edo city! _

_Are you alone? _

_if you do, would you like to buy some dolls? _

_Then please, the Dollhouse is this way. _

_Please buy some of these cute dolls, if you please. _

_What, you prefer older companions ? _

_Then, please, the Flower Mansion is this way. _

_Please be careful, some of the flowers are thorny. _

_Not to mention, they are picky. _

_Oh? You can't afford to go to a Flower Mansion ? _

_Then, please, the Cat's Cage is this way. _

_Please be careful, some of cats might be skittish, some even may trick you, some are even too naughty to handle. _

_What, you even don't want to bother to bother to try taming a cat ? _

_Then please, the Carcass' Coffin is this way. _

_You don't have to worry about anything here. You are free to do anything you please with the carcasses. They are carcasses after all. They won't object no matter how cruel you treat them. _

_Now, that I have mentions every companion houses, I am taking my excuse and leave. Please, enjoy your stay. _

* * *

AN:

"Dolls" : Child prostitute. They are dressed in colorful kimonos as if they're in the shichigosan event (an event to celebrate if a child has been 7,5, or 3 years old. ) They must always smile in the display , or punishment awaits. The punishment of a Doll not smiling is nothing compared what a Carcass have been through.

Dollhouse: Where you can buy innocent children as private sex toy . They are put into display like this: Try to google Yoshiwara, you'll find what you need. In this age, kidnapping children to be sold at dollhouse is common. The reason why a child can be in a Dollhouse is due to these reason.

1: Sold by their own parents due to extreme poverty, or to clear debts.

2: Sold by their own relatives after the funeral of the parents to get rid of the heir and get more of the inheritance.

3 : Kidnapped by the owners of the dollhouse to be sold there.

Dollhouses only sell kids at age range 5-15. Older than that, the teen will be sent to a Carcass' Coffin or a Cat's Cage.

Dollmaker: These people, in the "front world" works as psychiatrist , but their real job is a hypnotist that convert Dolls into -literally, mindless, sex-addicted slaves that calls their master "Daddy" or "Master". Sometimes people pay Dollmakers to turn Dolls they bought into obedient ones without harming their body, or to broke the mentality of the child while keeping their virginity. The variant of a Dollmaker is an Engineer, who turns children into killing machines instead. Few experienced, highly skilled Dollmakers that can turn a child into BOTH of killing machine and a sex slave, or switching from one to another. In their own domain, usually Dollmakers are served by many children they turned into mindless slave by themselves. All Dollmaker and Engineers have a "security password" in case the child is found by his family or is a witness of an important scene, the recovery of their sanity is necessary, and when this "password" is used, the hypnotism will break and the child will regain his/her sanity. Most of times, this password is a word that the Dollmaker made by him/herself, and kept secret from anybody. All Dollmakers have different password, even if they are twins. Like many jobs in Japan, someone who born from a family that specialized in that occupation do well and respected more than a "newbie" of that occupation, so does a Dollmaker.

Dollmakers: Imayoshi, Hanamiya (although Hanamiya is more like of an Engineer than a Dollmaker, when Imayoshi masters the technique of both)

"Flowers" : High-level courtesan (AKA Oiran) . They not only provides sex, but also other traditional art such as accompanying a tea party, flower arranging, poetry, traditional dance, playing shamisen, etc. Flowers are also speaks in a very formal language. many Flowers are accepted as professional painter, poet, of this, Flowers usually are not looked down upon but are highly respected. Their main occupation is not as prostitutes, but as artisan. They do offer sexual services, but as side-jobs. "Flowers" are very costly, even for just a night with the lowest "flower" cost you about 500,000 yen. Flowers can object clients they don't like. Some of really high level Flowers-own Dollhouse, or Cat's Cage, Or Carcass' Coffin by themselves, or even higher, own a Flower Mansion by him/herself. Some high-level Flowers doesn't work for anyone-in short, is a free employer. Due to their elegance, many Flowers are closely acquainted with the feudal lords or the government officers and you don't want to mess with them because they can use their charm to convince the local officer to arrest you. It is not uncommon that Flowers have indirect political power (although mostly indirect ). The only way for someone to became a "Flower" is that he/she has to be lucky enough to get a senior Flower to take him/her as a pupil, there's no other way around A Flower can get his/her pupil from ANYWHERE: Bought him/her from a Carcass' Coffin/Cat's Cage/Dollhouse, pick a kid from an orphanage, or make a deal with the kid's parents. There is no limitation on how much pupil can a Flower take, though. Flowers dress in luxurious, layered kimono, high geta (Japanese sandals ), multiple gold hairpin. Wherever they go, Flowers are always followed by their own maid. Flowers usually made up their own title by themselves, and their title usually is a flower name + noble lady word, for example the most exquisite Flower called himself Higanbana no Jyoutei (Higanbana= Spider Lily flower, Jyoutei= Empress... I guess you all know who is we're talking about XD)

Flowers: Akashi , Reo, Himuro, Hanamiya.

Flower Mansion: Where you can make negotiations with a Flower , sleep there with your chosen Flower (if they agree to) , or make the Flower do other stuff (have him/her paint a painting for you, being a host to a traditional party tea, dance at your party-and no, Flowers don't do sexy dance, they only do elegant traditional dance) , etc. Flower Mansions also serves as a school for Flowers in training, but no, you can't "try" them out.

"Cats" : Slang for middle-level prostitute. Most of them works at places that can be disguised as normal work places, such as onsen, maid cafe, salon, bar, etc. They are not as expensive as Flowers, (they only cost you about 10,000 yen per night.. USUALLY. ) They not respected like Flowers because they ARE prostitutes. Still, they are still viewed as living being with emotions, get salary for themselves, get free/break times, sometimes their clients buy something for them, accepted jobs as fake lovers, they sometimes enjoy the sex, as well being clingy and slightly more affectionate with their regular. Cats are the opposite of Flowers. Flowers do art and literacy as their main income with sex as the side-jobs, when Cats, do other jobs as side-jobs with sex as the main occupation. Some Cats are even purely prostitutes. Cats are usually seductive, naughty, and do their job well. They are better in sex techniques compared to Flowers. They can't object clients like Flowers do, but they can object the method (if it's BDSM, cosplay, etc) . Many Cats dresses in seductive, skimpy outfit, but some Cats hide their jobs as Cats and dressed like normal citizen. Many Cats apply for the job in their own will, many Cats are sold by their families, many Cats are originally unsold Dolls. In work , Cats use fake name their boss give to them. It can be anything. Candy, Sweet Tooth, Elly, Aki, Mizu, Yuki, Fuyu, koneko-chan, Usa-tan, etc. But sometimes, to the clients they really favor, they would reveal their own name. If you wish, you can buy a Cat to became your private slut.

Cats: Takao (Maid cafe), Kise (stripclub)

Cat's Cage: Slang for where Cats works. A Cat's Cage does not only exist in a form of a pure brothel, but also, in a form of a soapland, stripclub, maid cafe, bar, etc. Some Cats lives in the Cage, and despite of the name, they actually don't live in a cage, but in a decent , yet small room in an apartment (for those who can't afford to rent an apartment by him/herself )

Carcass: Slang for the lowest level of prostitutes. Like the name, they are simply broken, emotionless, mindless, lifeless living corpse exist only to became a fuck toy. They don't have any right of their own. Any payment after their usage goes 100% to the Carcass' Coffin owner. They are put into cages, or sometimes into the display cage , chained or crucified, forcing them to stand, because they almost couldn't move anymore. After a payment to "rent" a Carcass, you are free to do ANYTHING to the Carcass- they are broken, doesn't bother to retaliate , struggle or object anymore. Be it rape or torture, pick your tea. It's up to you. They won't fight back. They will just remain motionless on the bed or chained. That's why the Carcass' Coffin staffs have more works because the Carcasses have to be force-feed, bathed, dragged and carried, and dressed because they are completely broken and couldn't do anything for their own. Of course, no one would have become a Carcass because it's their own will. Carcasses usually are unsold Dolls that lacks the good looks or skills to became a Cat, or kidnapped good-looking person. If the newly obtained Carcass is a virgin, an auction will be held , and the one who wins the bid can rape the virgin new Carcass and torture the poor soul as he/she wishes. If the Carcass was not virgin already, but is not broken yet and still retaliates, a show will be put where this new Carcass is raped and tortured by the Carcass Coffin's staffs. Of course, the price of this raping show ticket is more expensive than renting a broken Carcass . And it's obvious too that a costumer can chose to rape and torture an unbroken Carcass only to see the poor thing struggle , cried and scream in pain. Spmetimes, Carcasses are artifically disabled to help break their mental, most of times blinded, muted, or limbs paralyzed. Note that they always cut the nerves so that the necessary organ is still intact, there's tongue for oral sex and eyes to look , but it can't look back on you, not to mention limbs intact are still visually more appealing, right? You can still buy a Carcass for your own, too. Carcasses usually dressed in white kimono with the opposite order of how usually people wear kimonos, just like corpses in funeral, indicating that there's no difference anymore with a Carcass and a real corpse and it's fine to treat them any way around.

Carcass: Haizaki (blinded) , Kuroko (muted).

Carcass' Coffin: A brothel to rape or to see a Carcass raped, it's usually located in the basement of the pleasure district. It's hidden very well, so you must look for a local informant to know where's the local Carcass' Coffin.

Ok so that's it! . Ok so that's it! . And yeah, the "Carcass" in the title is Haizaki when the "Spiderlily" is Akashi. ... Yeah, right. EVERYONE is cruel to poor little Shou-chan. Including ME. And most Akashi fans like the gray-stu, insane Akashi.

R&R, please? Next chapter would be in Haizaki's view. Oh, and some other characters... I list there, but about Himuro, Takao, and Kise... I myself not 100% sure will they appear in the storyline. They may not appear... So don't kill me if I do that! XD

I may add some kagakuro/kagahimu later. I don't really sure... But I'll try. XD


	2. The Silver Doll That Fall Into Depravity

Like I promised before, this chapter will be written from Haizaki's POV. Actually, I planned this to be a single chapter , but it's too long so that I decide to split it into two parts... Then after that I'll write from Akashi's POV. Then after that finally we will enter the main story where I will wrote in third person (it's so much easier for me that way XD) , because there's much things in this fic that's better explained in first person view. Yes, Akashi IS the main villain of this fic, but I tried to give him some depth :3 Not that I say you can't hate him (because I'm gonna make him very hateable here... Oh come on he IS the main villain ), but I just don't want to make my fic with shallow villain because if I put my position as a reader I too don't like shallow, reasonless villain if the villain is a character from the series, if it's OC or a random anon then i'ts OK.

Comment reply:

Mako: Hehe, really? Here you are, the next chapter, then!

Guest: Here, i continued it ~

46Neko-Kucing Ganteng : Here you go~

Ama: OMG thank you~ Yes I'm Indonesian! My FB goes by the name Gisela Nurlatifa (blue dragon PP) and my twitter and tumblr is DraceEmpressa.

OK, here goes!

* * *

..Dark.

It was too dark.

Like usual, I snuggle some foods from the shops, and get hit. But I'm really hungry... It can't be helped...

I was born in a very poor family. Even we tried to work, Father's salary couldn't cover it up. Most of times we eat only twice a day. Sometimes once. Sometimes we only eat once per three days...

But we are still happy , because we are very close to each other. At the time I even never thinks that being rich is better than this.

Father tried his best, but it is what took away his life. And Mother can't stand being alone. So she married another man. And this another man is nothing but bag of shit.

He didn't do his job well. Instead, he would always hit and curses to Mom or me. My starvation is getting worse and worse.

I can't hold it anymore... I have to snuggle foods from the market to survive. I can't lean on to that jerk. I know most of times I would get caught and hit, but it's been a routine for me.

I can barely open my eye. I'm exhausted... I think I'll let myself faint.

When I opened my eyes, I realized I wasn't in the dark alley where the adults beat the shit out of me, but in quite a decent room. A raven-haired boy, seems to be far older than me, noticing that I'm awake, offers me a glass of water , which I highly agree and happily gulped it down. He gently asked me.

"Are you okay, for now? "

I nodded. Then, this guy smiled brightly at me.

"Thank goodness! I thought you're dead just now, but I still can feel your breath and take you home. "

Hey, this guy was so nice for a samurai's son. His grey orbs are focused in me.

"All right, what is your name ? I'll walk you home. "

"Give me your name first, I can't talk so strangers."

He laughed, and calmly give his name.

"Nijimura. Nijimura Shuuzou. There you know my name, I'm not a stranger anymore to you, right? I already give you my name, now it's your turn."

I laughed too, and smiled back at him.

"Haizaki. Haizaki Shougo. "

With that, he walk me home. It doesn't took me long to know that he was the son of one of the best samurai in Japan. Despite of that, he actually doesn't look down on people and sees people as their "selves" . He don't give a damn even if I'm just a random dirty brat from the slums.

Even so, he was so understanding, even to someone like me. We became close friends in short time. Even closer than that... As if we're brothers. We fights, and then laughs together. It's a new , nice routine for me.

But the annoying part is, I'm not only person who he treat like his younger brother.

There's this certain spoiled brat, following Nijimura-san almost wherever he goes. If his personal butler doesn't stop him, I'm sure he would stalk Nijimura-san even to the bathroom!

I know his name is Akashi Seijuurou. The spoiled brat which Nijimura-san's father are being paid for to guard him. It seems that he's attracted to Nijimura-san with the same reason as me... Because Nijimura-san views him as "himself" not because of title or any other shit.

Ah, that's very nice of you, Nijimura-san. But it attracts too many people around you... Including me.

* * *

Like usual, I found him eating dango at Himaruya. I throw a pebble to his head. Ah, it hits.

"HAIZAKII!"

I laughed. I ran away, but he managed to chase me up and beat me up. I ran away again, and after all those chase an run game, we laughed together at the side of the river, and he asked me.

"Seriously, Haizaki. Can't you remain calm and not tease me, just for a day ? "

"Hell no, Shuuzou. This is me, I'll remain this way , even until I already have long beard all over my face . "

I laughed, but he smack me again. I like it when he's frowning like this. I know he smile to most people, but only me can make him show that expression. I feel special.

"Call me Nijimura-san, Haizaki. And people do change as they get older, you know. "

"Oh yeah ? But it seems like that's not the case with you, Shuu-nii. You're still this childish and temperamental despite being 5 years older than me. "

"Shut up, Haizaki. I'm just 12 years old, I'm not that mature yet, I know that, you don't have to remind me, I am trying to be an adult here stop making me act like a kid!"

Actually, deep down, that's why I really like you. You feel like a real older brother to me, because the age difference is not that wide. You're not those unreachable, self-righteous adults. You admit your weakness, and try to fix it up. I really want to be like you..."

"Still, Haizaki... "

"?"

"I worry about you. Can you get another friend while I'm not around ?"

I felt uneasy about this. Fuck, it's as if you're going somewhere far, far away, out of my reach...

"What the hell ? You're speaking as if you're going somewhere far away !"

No. Please don't say it. I only have you. My mother ignores me. My stepfather always hit me. Much harder than you, and curses too. Not only hurts my body, but my heart as well. Please, don't...

"I'm leaving to Germany, Haizaki."

No. Please say this is just a lie. You're not going to leave me. You are not going to leave me for that spoiled redhead brat.

"You're leaving with that red-haired spoiled brat ?"

"No, Haizaki, I didn't say so. I'm going there because the medication is better than here. My mother has been so desperate and we finally found the cure. And when the medication is done, I'll be back. "

I know your dad have been sick since some few months ago, but hell no. I have a bad feeling where we will never see each other again. I can't believe you...

"Promise me you will come back? "

I said in weak voice. Wait, what!? How come I sound this weak !? Fuck this shit. My sadness is showing... I really don't want him to leave...

"What the hell, punk, why are you getting attached of? It'so not like you. " Nijimura-san said in a confused tone, and then throwing the sly grin back at me.

"Could it be.. You're in love with me?"

I blushed. Yes, I'm crazy about you. I see you more than of a brother... But no. My arrogant lips won't say that to you. My arrogant body won't move to hug you.

"H..Hell no! Who the fuck would fell in love with someone who's always act like an angry bull !? "

" Heh, bet you're gonna cry a bucket when I got back! "

"Fuck no, dammit! Just go to hell already! "

Yeah right, I would cry a river if you really do come back. If it's possible...

"Oi, punk, are you crying now? "

Damn. How could this happening. Me, crying in front of Nijimura-san because of he's leaving !? No, no. Hold yourself back, Shougo. Don't cry now. He'd laugh at you. I tried to turn back and hold my hands up to cover my reddening face, when he just hug me from behind and whispers to my ears,

"It's okay, Shou-chan. I promise I won't be gone forever and return to your side one day."

Then Nijimura-san kissed me on my cheek, and then leaves, You're so cruel... Leaving me heart broken like this...

But I wouldn't know fate even more crueler than this awaits for me.

When I got home, Mommy was cooking for dinner like usual. That sick bastard haven't got back from working yet.

That's right, I have no respect whatsoever to the one oh-so-called hell I can have some, when he did nothing but hit and curses Mommy and me !?

But today, something different happened.

Instead of that one sick bastard, a lot of men wearing suit come to caught me and Mommy . Before I can ran away or kick these bastards, my mouth was stuffed with some cloth . My consciousness immediately fade away and everything turned black...

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, there's a lot of suspicious looking men with fox masks surrounding me, and I noticed the cold air in touch with my skin. I'm completely naked, except with the cold metal circling my neck and these suspicious looking men looked at me with very strange looks. It makes me feel uneasy, and I instinctively cover my crotch with my hand and asked these suspicious men .

"WHERE AM I !? WHAT'S HAPPENING !?"

"Oh look, this one is very energetic Doll, don't you all think ? " Said one of them as he hold my chin, forcing me to look to his face. His breath makes me want to puke and I push his hand away from me.

"Don't touch me, you stinking old geezer. "

SMACK!

One of them immediately beat me up using his staff, so that I fell to the tatami. Before I can try to get up, the old geezer that just hit me pull my hair so that my eye level is the same as his.

"You insolent little one, it seems you need some discipline."

I just smirked.

"Bring it on, you earthbound spirit."

When the old geezer with staff almost hit me again, another of them stopped him, sweetly asked.

"There, there, Aso-san, please restrain yourself. This new doll doesn't know anything yet, and our role is to explain it to him. "

This one , who previously stopped his friend from hitting me,gently asked me with a gentle tone and smile. But i'm not a jackass to not know the smile and tone is fake and there's malice in it.

"What's your name, little one? "

"...Haizaki. Haizaki Shougo. Stop calling me "little one", old man. You sounds like a fucking pedo. " I answered with a growl. I don't give a damn if he hit me again... I'm already get used to it.

"If that what you want, Haizaki-kun. By the way, didn't you asked what is this place just now ? I want to explain it to you now, can you relax , and keep on listening ?"

I looked at his face. Fuck, his face is covered by a mask so there's nothing to observe. I don't have any other option but to nod.

"Good. Now listen carefully, Haizaki-kun. This place is Awaraya, one of many Dollhouses in Edo. And from now on, you're one of the Dolls sold here. "

I snapped when he said what's happening to me. What the fuck ?!

"The hell! I'm not a goddamn doll ! I have flesh and blood of my own, I can move and think! What makes you can say such a thing !?"

"There, there, Haizaki-kun, calm down. Please listen to me to the end. The "doll" I meant here is not that kind of doll. The "doll" we meant here is children, sold to people who want to buy them..."

Sold !? As in, selling kids like selling pets? No. No. You're not going to sell me like selling a kitten in a petshop.

"AS IF WE'RE PETS!? AS IF WE'RE ANIMALS!? TO HELL WITH THAT! I DON'T WANNA LIVE LIKE THAT! "

"But Haizaki-kun, you have no choice. Your stepfather was the one who sold you here, as well as sold your mother to another brothel."

Shit. I know I can't believe that meat bag, but sold me to a Dollhouse !? You're not even human, that sick bastard.

Wait, what ?

As well as your mother ?

I immediately sprung up and grabbed his kimono near the chest. I don't care about anything else now.

"Where the hell is my mother! Tell me! I wanna meet her ! "

Again, the man that hit me raised his staff again, but the man whose kimono I pulled seems to remain calm and raised his hand to stop the other man. Seriously, who the fuck is this man, why did he remain calm after all my yelling and why the others seems to respect and obey him so much !?

" Calm down, Haizaki-kun, calm down. Like I have said before, your father not only sold you here, but also, sold your mother to another brothel. She's currently been through.. Something far worse than been hit, you know ?"

I froze. What can be worse than been hit ? I can't imagine it, but I know it's something horrible. And Mommy is currently being through those kind of horrible stuff...

What have Mommy and I did that we deserve such a cruel fate?

What is that thing, cruelly sold his wife and stepson to such a miserable place?

I weakly released him, kneel, cried and cover my face with my hand.

"Mommy... I wanna meet Mommy... Mommy... Why .. Mommy... And I.. must live like this ? At least.. I wanna stay beside Mommy... Please... Mommy.. I wanna meet my Mommy... I beg of you... Please..."

The man that was explaining all of these to me gently patted my head, hugged me as he whispers to my ear. Damn, his breath stinks..

"There, there... It's okay, Haizaki-kun. At least, your position is not that worse compared to your mother's. If you can be a good boy here, we promise that we would not cause any harm to you, and you may live a good life if you're bought by a kind customer. Oh, and more thing. If you promise you will be a good boy, perhaps we can manage it so you see your mother."

I stopped crying, uncover my face and raised it. I can't really believe him. But if I can meet Mommy again ...

"Promise?" I said as I offers my pinky. That man swindled his pinky with mine.

"Now that we already make a deal, I have something to ask you. Don't you feel uneasy naked all this time? Would you like to ask for some clothes? "

I weakly nodded. I already feel uneasy since I woke up and you just ask that now!? Oh well.. At least... I would wear something decent...

Then, more men in less luxurious kimono surrounds me and dresses me up in a colorful kimono as if I'm a girl in shichigosan event. I want to yell "what the, I'm a boy not a girl ", but when the fact that now Mommy is been through something that's even worse than being hit, I remain silent.

I'm scared.. Scared of what may happen to Mommy... Scared of what they may done to me...

Then I noticed one more thing: They haven't released the cold metal that encircling my neck . I asked in weak voice.

"Um.. This thing... Around my neck... Why don't you... Take it off ? "

"We need that shackle secured over your neck to make sure you won't try to escape. " Said the man that seems to be their leader, as he tugs on the other end of the chain.

No, no, no, don't wanna, don't wanna, don't wanna.

I don't wanna live like a dog like this.

But what can I do ? I'm just a brat . The current me doesn't have the power to fight back...

I obediently stand and walk as the man that seems to be their leader slowly pulling the collar on my neck , guiding me somewhere else. It was to a room-no, prison with lots of kids at my age, many of them are younger than me, but those which is older than me is not that few too. All of them... Are dressed in colorful kimono and had a shackle chained to their neck like me... And to the front, are the ... Main road !?

I.. was put into a display... Like a kitten or puppy in pet shop...

"Now, Haizaki-kun." Said the man who wield the end of the chain connecting the handle and the collar at my neck, as he hangs the handle to the one of the hangers in this display cage.

"All you have to do.. Is simply sit down here and smile like a good doll you are. Okay ?"

All of these conversation, just pushes my urge to vomit more. Che... But at this level, I still can hold it...

At night , some other Dolls are being nice to me. I just ignored them. Why being nice to them when all of us are just going to be sold anyway?

When I tried to sleep, memories of the happy moments I had alone, with Mommy, with Nijimura-san, all filled my vision . I don't want to wake up to see the cruel reality. But they forced me to.

* * *

Days I spent here make me doubt am I human or not more and more as day passes. All I have to do is sitting nicely with beautiful kimono over my body, shackles around my ankles, wrists and neck, with fake smile over my face when actually I wanted to cry, when I have to take a bath there will be a watchmen watching us, preventing us to escape, because when we take a bath the shackles are taken off from us. We still have to wear these shackles when we're asleep, bound to the bedpost. They don't even let us sleep properly without the damn shackles. When a customer came, sometimes they just bought one of us directly, sometimes they "try" us out before buying. By "trying", I mean to see how sensitive we are. Sometimes I got "tried" too. When this happens, I would be dragged to another room in the Dollhouse, stripped out naked from the kimono, restrained by chaining my hands above my head, and my ankles shackled to the floor so that I can't kick them even if I wanted to. Then, the customer will slowly caress my body to see how sensitive I am. I know they liked it when I moan , and I don't want to behave like they wanted me to . Instead of moaning, I would spat on them instead and then get hit. Again and again...

Sometimes, I cried off to the chest of the older Dolls. But I don't want to form a strong bond with any of the other Dolls. They are bound to leave. I don't want to hold dear of anyone anymore, I don't want to get hurt because of losing them anymore. At least, in this condition...

One day, when everyone is sleeping, I tried to escape armed with this needle I found. With the needle, I tweak the shackles and carefully put them , and then silently sneaking away to the door. Again, I tweak the door using the needle. Ha! Some things will never going old , huh?

After making sure that the guards are asleep, I made my way to the back door. I carefully crawl to the back door, and then...

"BARF ! BARF! "

"AAAAAHH! WHAT THE HELL, YOU CRAZY DOG !? WHAT'S YOUR BUSINESS WITH ME!? "

"WHO'S THERE !?"

Shit. Shit. Because of a dog, I got caught . The guards immediately dragged me to the Dollhouse owner's office. That man's office... Kokushi.

"Oh my, Haizaki-kun... Did you make a problem again ?" Kokushi said as he gently caress my cheek. Ew.

"You mad, Kokushi ? I ain't give any fuck to your rule, that's why I behave like this, you know?"

I answered provocatively, just being the usual me. I don't give any damn even one of the guards hit me again. But, Kokushi's words are just shocks me more. This one old shit never cease to amaze me.

"Fine, if that's what you want. Then let me say this : I too, doesn't care about your suffering, and would caught you nonetheless. But I didn't say you must stop trying to escape. It's just that every time you would try to escape, with an new technique... I would always try to capture you with a new trick too. Let's just see, who would win ?"

" You're nuts, Kokushi." I tried to match my eye with his, but his annoying smile is always on his mask called gentle expression.

" Everyone is insane, Haizaki-kun. Most of us reject that insanity... Some just haven't noticed theirs yet... Some just simply, willingly embrace their insanity. And I, are one of them who choose to embrace their insanity. It's just that simple."

"Heh, you admit it yourself that you're nuts."

" Why shouldn't I ? If I embrace my insanity it would be easier to control it. " Kokushi answered calmly. Damn you, rotting geezer. You know how to shock people, but you are never shocked by what people have to say.

"Shouldn't you go to sleep now, Haizaki-kun... You must be shocked because that dog just now barked on you, right? It's better for you to rest , for now... Let your poor heart recover... "

Bullshit! You know I was more shocked when I hear your words than when I was barked by that crazy dog! And are you a fucking airhead or what, like hell one can sleep after their eyes are forced to be completely open after they are shocked ! But meh... I guess I have no other option, for now...

After that, I keep on trying to escape, but Kokushi always able to stop me, to expect where I am going , expect what is my plans . Hell, it's not like I'm going to stop trying to escape . I know one day I can escape from here ... And start a proper new life...

But I stopped trying to escape after I saw something at that day. Something that I would never expect to see...

It's just an usual day of my days as a Doll. Sitting nicely with fake smile, beautiful kimono concealing my body and shackles at my ankles, wrists and neck.. Yes, that's just usual for me...

Until at noon, someone come across the display cage, carrying a corpse , flung to his shoulders casually. I thought it's just a normal old woman die because of age, but I was wrong. It's actually quite a young woman yet she had grey hair.

And it was Mom.

"MOM! MOM! GIVE BACK MY MOM! "

I screaming and reaches out my hand in desperation and shock. My mother, all bruised and lifeless in a white kimono...

The Dollhouse staffs immediately pull the chain connected to my neck and drag me to another cage. I struggled, but it's useless, with these chains around me. Kokushi came, and act as if there's nothing happened.

"What's wrong, Haizaki-kun? Did you saw something ? I know you are rebellious, but today is more than the usual. "

I really wanted to rip off that annoying smile off his face and see his real grotesque face. Can't you, if you're in my position !?

"BULLSHIT! STOP ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED! JUST NOW... JUST NOW ... I SAW MY MOTHER! YOU PROMISED ME YOU'RE GOING TO LET ME SEE HER! "

"Ah, so that's what happened. I didn't lie to you, didn't I ? You did see her."

"You tricked me! I want to see her IN PERSON! "

"Okay then. You will see her tomorrow."

"You're not going to trick me anymore! "

"When did I completely lie to you, Haizaki-kun? You did meet her, right? Now , get back into business, and I'll assign it so you can meet your mother tomorrow."

"You'd better keep on your words."

"I will, Haizaki-kun. Just be patient just for a bit more... "

I decided to believe in him again, just for this once. I put on the fake smile again, doing the usual business in the Dollhouse.

Next day, I'm called to Kokushi's office. He was right-there was my mother, sitting on the couch. I immediately glomped her.

"Mom... Finally we meet again..."

There was no response. I looked to her eyes, they looked... Lifeless ? But this is my mother... I'm sure of it...

"Mom ? This is me... Shougo..."

Still no response. Why ?

"Mom.. Please.. Remember... No, at least, please, PLEASE! RESPOND! MOM! PLEASE! PLEASE SAY ANYTHING! ANYTHING IS FINE... PLEASE SAY SOMETHING TO ME!"

I shooked Mom's body in desperation. If she doesn't remember me... At least, she can respond. But no. She just remain motionless and silent . Suddenly, Kokushi's words in our first meeting echoes in my head.

_She's currently been through.. Something far worse than been hit. _

I I hugged Mom tightly and glared to Kokushi , who was smirking triumphantly at me. I got snapped again.

"BASTARD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MOM!? "

Triumphantly smirking, Kokushi answered in his usual disgustingly calm tone.

"I didn't do anything, Haizaki-kun. I have told you before, didn't I? Your mother was sold to another brothel. I don't know what they have done to her, but I know it's something reaaaaaally bad. If you're that curious, why don't you see for yourself how bad is her injuries ?"

Kokushi then flicks his fingers, and then some of his men approached Mom. I tighten my hug around Mom and growled.

" You are not going to do anything to Mom."

"Relax, Haizaki-kun, we are just going to help you."

Then, those men separated me and Mom forcefully. I struggled, but stopped doing so after one horrible sight. I don't only stopped struggling, but I fainted instead.

The sight of Mom's horrible injuries was unbearable.

* * *

The moment I woke up, it's already at night at the bedroom . I tried to recall what did I see just now. Mom's injuries... Kokushi's right. It was far worse than being hit. I was about to get angry again, but I recall what did Kokushi said: he promised to let me met mom again, not return her to me. I sobbed. I can't save Mom.. I can't even save myself...

But hey, the security here is tight because there's Kokushi. If I am bought ... I can escape from the new owner's house! Just hope he's stupid enough for that! I can save myself ... I can save Mom!

And one day... If I'm already a free human being again... I can meet Nijimura-san again...

Later on, I stopped escaping, retaliating, anything. I can only hope that one day I will be bought. Perhaps Kokushi think the image of Mom's injuries scared the shit out of me and that's why I stopped trying to escape and being a rebellious Doll.

One day, it must be happen...

I waited...

I always waited...

But , no customer ever tried to bought me, even I already stopped to retaliate whenever I'm being "tried".

I looked to my own body . I've grown so much...I've became so much taller compared to when I was just sold here... Now I'm 15 years old...I've spent more than half of my life here...

Pretty soon, it will be my 15th birthday...

Alas, I should have known that more than this have waited for me.

At my 15th birthday, Kokushi brought me to his office, where more men with luxurious kimono waited for me. Kokushi calmly ordered me to strip. I strip myself from the beautiful kimono slowly, like they usually wanted me to, then kneel with my legs beside my body. One of these men lift my head by holding my face, checking my face.

"He's too beautiful to became a Carcass. Are you sure you're going to give him to us? "

"I do. This one is too rebellious to became a Cat. If I made him a Cat, he will escape his debt and start a new life, and that's more loss for us. Don't you think so ?"

Kokushi answered calmly. Heh, so you know I'm going to escape if you give me the chance. Whatever, Kokushi. I don't care whatever plan you have for me... But one day , for sure, I'll claim back my freedom.

"I see. Then I'll be taking him."

Then , the man who just lift my chin just now then flicked his fingers and his men dress me in a white kimono, in the opposite order of how usually people would wear a kimono. Like a corpse at a funeral...

Like Mom at that time.

"FUCK THIS SHIT, IMAYOSHI KOKUSHI ! LIKE HELL I'LL LET YOU ABUSE AND BREAK ME LIKE YOU HAVE DONE TO MOM ! IF I CAN REGAIN MY FREEDOM, I'LL MAKE SURE THAT I'LL LOOK FOR YOU AND KILL YOU AS AS SLOW AND AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE ! AND IF I DIE IN A CAGE, I'LL MAKE SURE TO HAUNT AND CURSE YOUR ENTIRE BLOODLINE ! I WON'T FORGIVE YOU ! EVER ! ! "

I immediately struggle when I noticed what kind of clothing they dressed me in. This bastard... He already did this to Mom, which I haven't forgive him for it . And he haven't satisfied yet !?

"Whoa, so fierce. No wonder you would sent him to me. BTW, his grey hair remind me to a woman you rent 3 years ago... Is she this runt's mom? Pity that mother and son ends in the same fate... I recall that she died 2 months ago, and I sell her dead body to a mad scientist near my neighborhood. "

"YOU! WHAT... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MOM !? SHE'S DEAD ALREADY AND YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE HER A PROPER FUNERAL ?! ALL OF YOU ARE JUST SICK DEMONS ! "

I can't believe this. They tortured Mom until she breaks, until she really died, and didn't even bother to give her a proper funeral !? And wants to do the same thing to me !? Like hell I'll let it happen!

"Now, now. Haizaki-kun. For now... Sleep. Just sleep..."

Kokushi whispers to my ears , as he stabs the syringe to my neck. I don't know what kind of drug he put inside that syringe, but it makes me so sleepy and it forces me to fade away from my consciousness...

* * *

OK so that's it! I'm sorry that I have to cut this part into two. As you can see Haizaki have been full of misfortune since he was born. Actually, when Fujimaki states that he's only live with his mom and brother, I always imagined that Haizaki's lowly father is the one who sold him to a children/teen prostitution, as well raping Haizaki himself to the point the silveretee can't trust anyone because even his own father raped him. You can see here why he really likes Nijimura. I am really sorry if I can't really get Haizaki's personality right here, or if his language isn't foul enough. This is my first time writing in first person, as well that English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if my vocabulary wasn't enough. *bows*

PS: The torture and rape starts next chapter. Prepare the tissues, ladies~ XD

Note: When Haizaki met Nijimura he's 4 years old. Sold to the Dollhouse at 7. See his mother again at 12. Sent to Coffin at 15.

Oh, and Kokushi's surname ? Wait , it will be revealed in few more chapters more... kekekeke *shot*


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